Many people choose schools, homes, and jobs based on price, prestige, and convenience. On top of all those things, Black women must also think about race. If you know a Black woman who is currently making a life altering decision like this, you can bet she is thinking/wondering about how her race will affect her final decision.
A million questions may be running through our minds at these crucial junctures. “Will the people that I work with be racist?” “Will I be the only black woman in my classroom?” “If I live here, will my kids feel out of place?” “Will I have to work extra hard to disprove a stereotype?” “If I make friends with these people, will I be their first real Black friend?” “Will I or how will I respond if a sketchy comment or joke is ever made?” “Will I be able to be myself?”
You might be wondering what is with this pre-occupation with race? Black women are some of the most adaptable people on this earth. This skill has developed out of necessity: the slave woman who silently obeys in order to protect her family, the single mother who has to hold down two jobs to provide food for her family, the straight-A student in a mostly white classroom who wants to take History lessons a little deeper, the business woman who endures the strain of working in an all white firm in order to succeed. However, as you can imagine, this constant adapting is extremely exhausting. To other people, you may see her as Black woman on top, not affected by anything, fitting in easily and making friends with everyone, but most likely, there is so much more going on. Hence, now that Black women increasingly have the opportunity to choose where to live, work or go to school they finally have the chance to decide HOW MUCH adapting they or their children will have to do on a daily basis. And let us emphasize, it is extremely important to us.
There are several all-Black institutions that have remained popular for this very reason, such as churches, colleges (HBCUs aka Historically Black Colleges and Universities), and clubs (NAACP Image Awards, Jack & Jill or Sororities). Many Black women find that these are the only places where their mind and heart can take a break from the constant “adapting” that they must do in the rest of their daily life.
Hi ladies -
So excited for your new endeavor. I think a blog is a great place for what you’re expressing – it can be open and yet very personal at the same time. I was thinking about it, and I have so many topic ideas! You’ve probably already thought of some of these, but I would love to hear your thoughts on black women and:
- education (at any stage – elementary, high school, college, etc)
- how they feel about each other
- related, subcultures/subgroups among black women – do you think there are clearly identifiable ones? Is there pressure to identify w/ one?
- the performing arts
- church
- family
- femininity
- their relationship to feminism
- relating to women of other ethnicities
Some of these are pretty broad, but at least they’re food for thought. Keep it up! I am proud of you.
Charissa
Another idea – black women and generational differences. When I think of Gen X, I just think about white people. Do you see a difference between yourselves and the black women a generation or half-generation (boomers, Gen X) above you? When you hear characterizations of our generation (are we really Y? I like Millenials better), how do you see black female peers relating to that?
Hey you,
First off, you’re such a good writer! That’s not surprising but I just had to point that out. The whole constantly having to adapt to the environment thing sounds pretty sucky. How often do you experience that these days? For Asian Americans, I think we not only adapt to the “mainstream” culture but we adopt it. Maybe that’s why AAs feel more comfortable in a “mainstream” setting. Not sure if that’s the same thing as what you’re talking about. Let me know what you think.
Ladies….I am loving this blog….a place where I can feel at home and this topic hits close to it. I just moved into a prestigous white neighborhood in Reno and the first thing that I have to think off is “Wonder what the neighbors are thinking”. We are a young black family with FIVE children. I might be 31, but I look all of about 24 and my husband looks straight out of a hip-hop video with his dreads. I know they are waiting for the neighborhood to go down because of our presence. Not one of them have come to say “welcome to the neighborhood”, they have only spoken when they really had no choice because we walked right by them as we strolled to the park. I find myself doing extra yardwork to prove to my neighbors that we are no harm…it’s so crazy. One day, I sitting on my porch waiting for a friend to come over and I saw a car with tinted windows, nice rims and music blasting…because they were driving as if they were lost I assumed it was looking for my house…low and behold it went across the street to one of the neighbors….my first thought, “Thank God they weren’t coming to my house and they were white”. Things like this irritate me and make me laugh at the same time. It’s something that I just have to live with. It would be nice if white people could see the little things we think about on a daily basis that affect our entire life. As many reality shows that are out there today, it would be nice if someone brought this to mainstream TV…..but would they care and would it make a difference?
Thanks for the outlet.
Omeece, I think with the rise of race related blogs, reality TV producers (including my boss) are starting to look into the content for possible show material. I agree with you, it would be great if some of the things we go through could be brought to mainstream TV, especially since we only see a movie like Crash every now and then, or actually, maybe not much at all. This would be one of my hopes.
That’s good Stace…Maybe you and Kristal could do a little web show along with the blog….yeah yeah, I know…one thing at a time. Well this site is truly a blessing, keep up the good work.
I never thought of HBCU’s, sororities, and the NAACP like this prior to this blog! Thanks again!